If you haven't heard it a millions times already, I'm going for the millionth and one time: John and I have served in several capacities within the church for almost 20yrs, and Lord do I wish we knew then what we know now. We surely wouldn't have wasted so much time and energy on feelings and opinions. It definitely would have made our flashbacks to better times so much -more- sweeter.
I would have had a coke and smile more often. Speaking plainly, I would have kept my big-know-it-all mouth shut more often than not, because I did not then nor do I now know it all. I spoke so often out of my insecurities and lack of self worth that I completely forgot to listen to and honor those in authority over me. Let's just take a minute to expose the other elephant in the room, my pride. I honestly thought I knew better than those around me. I've surely seen life done wrong, so my pride led me to a place where I thought I knew how to get it right. Aside from that, I wanted so badly to change the world. I didn't want people to experience the hurts that I had, I didn't want people to suffer. But at the root of it all, I wanted to redeem every shameful and wretched thing I had done through acts of service, and Lord knows that's why I never shut up! Haha! There's trenches of shame and regrets in my past; however, there is nothing I can do in my power to fix those things so I spent many years of my ministry life completely exhausted. I strived almost to the point of death to remain in the perfect will of God. I neglected my family, my friendships, and my own health in pursuit of, what felt like, His illusive presence in my life. I royally screwed up the first part of my life and with wild desperation I chased after everything that lead me away from who I once was. Operating in this way only lead to a newly dug trench that was filled with failures and loneliness. I wasn't good at anything I was doing, because I had over committed myself in a hundred different areas of my life. My relationships were struggling because my over commitments left me void of any time to actually do life with other people.
1. Listen! There is an immeasurable amount of honor, compassion, and empathy in the simple act of listening. Let's just lay it on the table, we humans are multi-talented, highly skilled, every evolving --pursuing bigger, better, stronger. It is really hard to actively listen when our brains are moving a thousand miles a minute; problem solving, fact checking, discerning, reasoning, deciphering, etc.. Our minds really are brilliant! However, greater is the intelligence of the person who can listen, digest, and think before responding.
2. Honor Authority! We have a strange phenomenon in the church where we treat the pastor as if his authority and direction is an optional thing to follow; all dependent on whether we agree with him/her or not. You know, if he says, "this is how I want things done from now on" or "I'm changing this process" or "I'm going to hire/fire this person." More often than not, his people form a rebellion against the him. In the real world this would be called and disciplined as insubordination. I would loose my job in a hot second if I told my boss that I wouldn't back her decision nor participate in the new directive because I disagreed with her; and to add insult to injury I would find as many people as I could who agreed with my better, more efficient way, then proceeded to rub her face in it until she relented. Good Lord! I would be jobless and unhireable! My actions would speak loudly as to what I really wanted to accomplish in my workplace: division, disunity, and dissension. I don't have to wondering for even a second how this statistic can be true: 71% of pastors stated they were burned out, and they battle depression beyond fatigue on a weekly and even a daily basis. Our truest assignment is to be an armor bearer for our pastors not the weapon formed against them. The pastor is the warrior God has chosen to lead, and we are the people He has called to attend to him. We are to carry the shield and the battle gear. Our very presence should encourage our pastor, it should foster peace and strength simultaneously. Know your role!
3. Wake Up! I've noticed that we are nurturing a spirit of exhaustion in the church. Regardless the location, the denomination, or the size of the church, the staff, leaders, and volunteers are just wiped out. My response almost 100% of the time would be, "I'm just exhausted," and then would think, 'why did I say that? I'm not tired at all.' Have we made serving the Lord something that yields overwhelm or exhaustion? Does the most exhausted person win the working-for-Jesus competition? Is fatigue the spiritual result of serving the Lord? I declare with faith, NO!! It is not!! I acknowledged that the business of ministering to people and facilitating lives being changed is not only physically and emotionally demanding but it also lands us on the supernatural playing field. Our battle is truly in the spiritual realm which requires supernatural power that comes only from steadfastly seeking and surrendering to the power of Jesus. Shaking the planet is tough work. What can we do?
- Pray! Renew your mind!
- You may have some kind of medical condition that you've allowed to spin out of control. Get medical help immediately. God has used many doctors to help heal me and, in the process, revealed Himself to them and to me. The Lord knits us together in such a way that our faith encourages or lights the faith in others. If you haven't been healed through prayer then go to the dang doctor today!
- Stop trying to redeem your mistakes through acts of service. Believe me, you are going to run yourself into the ground trying to do so, which will only result in anger and bitterness towards a ministry or the church. You cannot redeem your transgressions nor can you "make up" for time lost and ill spent. We can only really do maybe three things at a time well. If you are spread thin, then you will accomplish nothing but failure on all sides. Return to the magic of doing one thing at a time.
4. Rest! Rest in the fact that the Lord is for you, He is not against you. He is a good Father. He is Redeemer and Restorer. He is Mercy and Love. His plans for you are good! He leads you and guides you. He will never leave you. He will never disown you. He is not a trickster, spiteful, or cruel. He only asks us to come. Come to Him. We have nothing we can offer Him nor is there anything we can bring to the table that better aligns us with His will. His will remains whether we are for Him or against Him. When we are pouting, His will is unaffected. When we are rebellious, His will goes before us. There is nothing we can do to separate ourselves from the love of God, nothing. Sampson's life is a vivid example of that. Sampson defiantly disobeyed everything the Lord asked Him to do; he wasted his life trying to dishonor the will of God, but it did him no good. God's purpose for Sampson's life was still accomplished. This should encourage you! Walking with the Lord in faith, trust, and obedience is for us! It teaches us how to love and how to forgive. It teaches us to hope and to bring hope. It is our joy that remains despite the severity of the storm. Did you know that when Jesus said we should be like little children it had less to do with their faith system, but had everything to do with the fact that children have nothing to offer --they don't have any degrees or any life experiences that call them qualified. We are to let our striving cease and simply come. We cannot add to nor take away from the will of God. We cannot alter His will for our lives no matter what we do. Just come with faith and trust and a heart willing to listen and obey.
5. Love People! It is the only real "job" the Lord as given to us. Love the lovable, but really really love the unlovable. This does not mean you need to forgo every healthy boundary you have in your life nor does it mean that you become best friends with everyone. It simply means that we approach every person and situation with kindness, compassion, empathy, and forgiveness on our lips, in our hearts, and as the captivators of our thoughts. I spent many year running from ministering to difficult people, because I was sure that my dislike of them equated that it wasn't God's will that I should. Ha! Subconsciously and sometimes purposely, I'd avoid someone because I didn't want my efforts to end in failure. Gah! My pride, insecurities, lack of self worth, and fear of failure chose the sure bet over and over again. I'm not talking about wisdom or discernment. I clearly know the people that the Lord wants me to avoid in order to protect myself, my faith, and my sin life. Who I'm talking about is "that person" who gets on your last nerve. You know, like you'd rather be getting a root canal than spend a single moment with them. Yep, "that person"! Annoyance does not negate our call to love and to minister and to mentor. And I hope this shifts your perspective and allows you to extend more grace to the hard people in your life; to someone you are "that person"!
6. Be Courageous! One of the hardest things John and I have had to deal with is not being known. Our new church does not know us. They do not know the hundreds of hours our pastors and mentors have spent building us into the people we are today. As much as it hurts to admit aloud but is naturally true, they don't trust us, because they don't know us. This has poked some holes in our identity. Who are we to the church and what is our role? Here's what we have leaned in these past eleven months: our call to love people and to make disciples is the same no matter where we are, regardless the church we go to, and despite our job title. I cannot say it has been easy to welcome people, help get people plugged in, and mentor people with the same ease as we did when we actually had a title; nonetheless, it is and always will be our heavenly job tile. Listen, your responsibility to help fold people into the community of God is no different than the guy/gal who preaches from the stage.
6. Be Courageous! One of the hardest things John and I have had to deal with is not being known. Our new church does not know us. They do not know the hundreds of hours our pastors and mentors have spent building us into the people we are today. As much as it hurts to admit aloud but is naturally true, they don't trust us, because they don't know us. This has poked some holes in our identity. Who are we to the church and what is our role? Here's what we have leaned in these past eleven months: our call to love people and to make disciples is the same no matter where we are, regardless the church we go to, and despite our job title. I cannot say it has been easy to welcome people, help get people plugged in, and mentor people with the same ease as we did when we actually had a title; nonetheless, it is and always will be our heavenly job tile. Listen, your responsibility to help fold people into the community of God is no different than the guy/gal who preaches from the stage.
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